On Valentine’s day, my newsfeed is always full of beautiful pictures of couples wanted to display their love to the world. I love it. I am a romantic and I always enjoy seeing other people share words of love for their spouse. However, this year on Valentine’s day I was also thinking about our first year of marriage and about how much of a dose of reality it was for my Shakespeare quoting, rose petal sprinkling heart.
I grew up in the 90’s and early 2000’s so obviously I thought the world was my oyster. I sorta thought that there might be a possibility that the concept for the movie Truman Show was actually based on my life and the whole world enjoyed the stage of the Jordan Show. Ok so bringing that baggage into marriage and when my husband wasn’t completing my cute little story, I was a shell shocked. “So, why exactly aren’t you completing me right now?” Because that’s how it’s supposed to go, right? You get married, then your finally satisfied. Ok maybe it’s when you finish college, have children, get your dream job, dream home, dream car, fill in your heart idol of choice.
This is a very convenient bait and switch from the enemy. “Pursue this,” he says, “this will end your longings.” Then when it does not, he shines the glimmering mirage of yet another empty oasis to lure our thirsty soul.
However, when we put this weight of satisfaction on our marriage we miss the point. We miss the beauty of the gift God has given us. Sorry Jerry McGuire but another human being was never meant to complete you and your lady is gonna seriously suffer for the weight that you’re laying in that statement. Because guess what? Relationships struggle, and we argue, and its painful at times. And anyone who tells you otherwise isn’t in much of a relationship, or they're lying.
But its’t also so so so awesome too. My husband is amazing, like for real amazing. Incredibly patient with me, kind to me, generous with me, super cute, I mean the list goes on and on. But it’s awesome because we get to share a love together. A love that reflects Christ and his Church. So we get to engage in a self-less, other exalting relationship that frees us from our focus on our self. We get to consider the other more significant than ourself and enjoy the other as the gift that they are. Not expecting them to make us happy, although I spend so many days with a smile on my face because of the gift my husband is to me. Not expecting them to be our sense of peace, although God often gives me comfort through my husbands arms wrapped around me. Not expecting them to solve the world’s problems for us, although my husband did just run to walmart for a plunger after our son’s enormous #2 and possibly a hot wheels car clogged the toilets.
Our thirsts will never be quenched until they are drowned in the all satisfying love of Christ, the joy of knowing Him, and the peace of his justification. And on the days that I don’t feel these realities, I don’t blame my husband for his fault in my emotions. I preach the gospel to myself, reminding my heart to look to Christ, the author and finisher of my faith.
by Jordan Sparks